I have a friend who cannot do something if you ask her to. It’s got a fancy name and everything…Pathological Demand Avoidance or PDA for short. Itās not her being difficultā¦it is a behaviour that stems from a physiological stress response. But, if you put it on a rota and stick it on the fridge she is happy to get on with the task! The brain is a wonderful and complex thing.Ā
I am happy to do something if you ask meā¦I will dive in and get into the nitty-gritty of it, Iāll look at it from all angles and work out the best way to do it and get on with it. I will do 95% of the work and bring it to the point of completion, but pushing that final buttonā¦I canāt. Take washing clothes for exampleā¦I can wash them, dry them, even iron and fold them but can I put them back on the shelf or hang them in the wardrobe? Nope! Iām responsible for producing a rota for the centre I work inā¦I am happy to find the dates, assign people to each date, even assign key passages or focus ideas. Can I send the rota out to people? Nah ah!! It sits in my draft messages for weeks until I have to redo it!
I wish there was a nice neat name for my lack of ability to complete tasks other than āexecutive dysfunction around task completionā. I prefer to say I get stuck somewhere between finished and done. My tasks are finishedā¦Iāve completed them, I just havenāt released them into the world (or the wardrobe).
The astute among you may notice there hasnāt been a blog post for a wee whileā¦Ok, 18 months nearly! I have to accept all responsibility for that, sorry. Please forgive the hiatus. We have been very active, Embers has been up to lots of stuff over the last 18 months, I have a whole file of blog posts that are finished but not done. So over the next few months there will be a mix of posts releasedā¦some will be reflections, some will be updates about work we have done, some will be simple resource recommendations.
Going back to the Pathological Demand Avoidance and me getting stuck between finished and done, I wonder if we can all be like that with our discipleship sometimes? Maybe you have been challenged to do something but because it was put to you as a demand you have instinctively gone āNope, canāt do thatā but actually if you put it into your daily routine it is more manageable. Or maybe you are happy to pray for someone, seek God for them and even find scripture relevant for them but you then struggle to actually tell them because it exposes you? Is there a way you can break the cycle this week? Iām writing a blog post and publishing it on the same dayā¦what are you going to do?
im going to speak what i believe to be true at a meeting ..when i might naturally wrap it up a bit ! praying i do it sensitively šš¼
How did that go for you Pam. I hope you found it liberating and that it was received well!